You think I’m joking but I’ve had all of these thoughts at one time or another.

Look all I’m saying is that sometimes you have to be wary of things in your house spontaneously combusting for no other reason than you left it plugged in. My flat iron could maybe fall off the counter onto the rug and catch it on fire and suddenly the whole house is ashes or at least that’s how my brain operates in the middle of an important meeting at work because did I unplug the flat iron or didn’t I oh man maybe I better call mom and see if she can go over to my house and check